Constipation VS Diarrhea "wuts worse"??
OH MAN.....being constapated is one thing, cuz all ya gotta do is drink warm water, try some fiber, maybe grunt real hard on the can or just hope in due time all will come out well. YIKES....this reminds me of my friend over there in London someplace. We chatted about his being bloated and uncomfortable for days....maybe weeks (hehe) who knows but he himself....Well I offered a number of solutions and hopefully they helped his overstuffed intestines.
Hey guy......"why don't you just DETOX"???
THAT'S THE BEST WAY OUT.....
You'll not only get rid of the bulk but additionally lose 10 pounds of sludge when you detox... nyuk, nyuk!!
Well this is not my situation. I rarely go out to dine in restaurants for a number of reasons, one being I hate the food they serve!!. Most time its garbage, has hairs, flies, toenails even unknown objects like maybe a chipped tooth, something that looks just like a booger or the bone marrow of some strange animal.....OH MAN getting sick are ya? Just the thought of it churns my stomach. Go ahead barf in your can, then come back to finish reading.
I am a great chef and I know my place is ultimately clean, my hands are clean, my entire house is a sanitary sanctuary. I know what I'm putting together will taste great and if I am entertaining there's no doubt about it.
They'll be eating at a 10 ********** star restaurant. So why am I saying all this? Simply because my friends wanted to repay the favor for bunkin them up overnight due to loss of power in their home from hurricane Katrina. It's their way of saying "Thanks" Ok the thanks is plenty, I'm not really hungry.....go on ahead without me, we'll do something later for staying at my Plush Bed & Breakfast house. Don't worry guys & dolls it's my PLEASURE to have put you up for the night. Glad you enjoyed your stay and
"your amenities were on the house"!
It was a struggle to say NO, they insisted and I refused & I came up with hundred excuses why I can't or don't wanna go with them. 2 against 1.....
!@#$%^ I LOST!!@#$%
I'll just make the best of it and yeah that's it I'll share a dinner with her and that will get me outta eating too much crap food. Well we arrived and the place was jammed packed with lotsa old folks....
Guess food is soft here for those OLD GUMMERS......hehehe
I'm sure I won't like anything on the menu and then I'll slide by saying I'll just have a tall glass of ice water with lemon wedge please and I'll be just fine.
Again, they weren't settling for any of my ideas. OK, OK guys, yes Shari I'll share a meal with you. I'll take the salad you eat the soup.....(in my mind I'm thinking easier to find things in salad but not in the soup......you know what I mean? So then comes the dinner. We shared 1/2 broasted chicken, potatoes and green beans. I took the leg and she kept the rest. A few roasted potatoes and a few green beans. I really took my time eating so I would fill up fast and push the rest to the side. There really wasn't all that much so I actually ate it all.
MISTAKE...I knew it...I knew it...I just knew it!
Hey Patti was it good? Did you have enough? Ummm yeah I'm full. Uh yeah was good......(what could I say, they were doing a nice gesture)
Suddenly the ole stomach started to churn and I thought "oh no" I don't believe this......."oh I hope I can make it home" I don't use public toilets unless its a do or die kinda situation. Well, this was a boarderline case.......
My stomach was playing with my bowels and suddenly I felt the urge and spoke up and said are we ready to leave??? She said no.....Why? Cuz I think I need to go to the bathroom but not here!!!
Their eyes lit up like oh oh.....
I nodded my head yep.....and said I think I'm have the "hershey squirts".....
he looked at me and said you have the WHAT???
I whispered......Rog, I have the "hershey squirts" What's that he said!!!
I gave him a look and said.........Take a Guess OK?
She said we just ordered desert can you wait till were done? OMG ......ummm yeah ok I'll try. As my ass started to feel like exploding
I just squeezed tight and hoped for the best......
We finally left and got to their place and I ran for the john.....Ahhhhhh relief.
That's the last dang time I go to that restaurant.....
If its not a TEN STAR restaurant from now on then forget it.......
I'm not going!!!
At a time like that I woulda preferred "constipation verses diarrhea"..........
What a ....SHIT STORY!!! (oh well)
Hey guy......"why don't you just DETOX"???
THAT'S THE BEST WAY OUT.....
You'll not only get rid of the bulk but additionally lose 10 pounds of sludge when you detox... nyuk, nyuk!!
Well this is not my situation. I rarely go out to dine in restaurants for a number of reasons, one being I hate the food they serve!!. Most time its garbage, has hairs, flies, toenails even unknown objects like maybe a chipped tooth, something that looks just like a booger or the bone marrow of some strange animal.....OH MAN getting sick are ya? Just the thought of it churns my stomach. Go ahead barf in your can, then come back to finish reading.
I am a great chef and I know my place is ultimately clean, my hands are clean, my entire house is a sanitary sanctuary. I know what I'm putting together will taste great and if I am entertaining there's no doubt about it.
They'll be eating at a 10 ********** star restaurant. So why am I saying all this? Simply because my friends wanted to repay the favor for bunkin them up overnight due to loss of power in their home from hurricane Katrina. It's their way of saying "Thanks" Ok the thanks is plenty, I'm not really hungry.....go on ahead without me, we'll do something later for staying at my Plush Bed & Breakfast house. Don't worry guys & dolls it's my PLEASURE to have put you up for the night. Glad you enjoyed your stay and
"your amenities were on the house"!
It was a struggle to say NO, they insisted and I refused & I came up with hundred excuses why I can't or don't wanna go with them. 2 against 1.....
!@#$%^ I LOST!!@#$%
I'll just make the best of it and yeah that's it I'll share a dinner with her and that will get me outta eating too much crap food. Well we arrived and the place was jammed packed with lotsa old folks....
Guess food is soft here for those OLD GUMMERS......hehehe
I'm sure I won't like anything on the menu and then I'll slide by saying I'll just have a tall glass of ice water with lemon wedge please and I'll be just fine.
Again, they weren't settling for any of my ideas. OK, OK guys, yes Shari I'll share a meal with you. I'll take the salad you eat the soup.....(in my mind I'm thinking easier to find things in salad but not in the soup......you know what I mean? So then comes the dinner. We shared 1/2 broasted chicken, potatoes and green beans. I took the leg and she kept the rest. A few roasted potatoes and a few green beans. I really took my time eating so I would fill up fast and push the rest to the side. There really wasn't all that much so I actually ate it all.
MISTAKE...I knew it...I knew it...I just knew it!
Hey Patti was it good? Did you have enough? Ummm yeah I'm full. Uh yeah was good......(what could I say, they were doing a nice gesture)
Suddenly the ole stomach started to churn and I thought "oh no" I don't believe this......."oh I hope I can make it home" I don't use public toilets unless its a do or die kinda situation. Well, this was a boarderline case.......
My stomach was playing with my bowels and suddenly I felt the urge and spoke up and said are we ready to leave??? She said no.....Why? Cuz I think I need to go to the bathroom but not here!!!
Their eyes lit up like oh oh.....
I nodded my head yep.....and said I think I'm have the "hershey squirts".....
he looked at me and said you have the WHAT???
I whispered......Rog, I have the "hershey squirts" What's that he said!!!
I gave him a look and said.........Take a Guess OK?
She said we just ordered desert can you wait till were done? OMG ......ummm yeah ok I'll try. As my ass started to feel like exploding
I just squeezed tight and hoped for the best......
We finally left and got to their place and I ran for the john.....Ahhhhhh relief.
That's the last dang time I go to that restaurant.....
If its not a TEN STAR restaurant from now on then forget it.......
I'm not going!!!
At a time like that I woulda preferred "constipation verses diarrhea"..........
What a ....SHIT STORY!!! (oh well)
posted by "gallavanting gallanda" @ 2:56 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home